You made me cry and you don't even care
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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