i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
