we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Randomize
