check it out our google latitudes are spooning
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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