I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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