In the future we'll all be gay
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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