It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
