went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
