If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
