Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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