At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
