"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
