you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Princesses don't give blow jobs
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
