Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
