Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
