This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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