I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize