Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
The convent might be a nice break from real life
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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