The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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