is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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