As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
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