Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
