She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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