No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize