Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You need a sexual gate keeper
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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