I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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