We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize