Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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