Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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