is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
