Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
