I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
