wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize