What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
