she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I am mentally ready for anal.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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