This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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