we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
