I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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