sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
