so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
A+ Viking dick
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
