pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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