after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i think i have herpe
just one?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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