She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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