you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
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