that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
