? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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