I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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