Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
