Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
This baby is an asshole
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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