i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize