Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I lost the right to judge tonight
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
