he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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