Umm I'm too high to move.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
