You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
