we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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