i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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