Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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