Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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