So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
