I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
