Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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