im gay
i know
yea but for you.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
