she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
