shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
