I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
